I have realized…

…recently it came to me, that for the first time in a very long time, I am really happy. I wasn’t actually unhappy, or sad. Just not happy.
This first began to dawn on me a couple of weeks ago while driving home from Chico. I had been smiling everytime I headed for the “Riverboat House” from the very first day that I moved there. I LOVE it here in this house. The river and peace and quiet and fresh air and cool breezes and just everything about living here – I LOVE it!
But, what I noticed was that I was enjoying the drive. I had not enjoyed driving since I rolled my truck last year. That’s putting it mildly. I was terrified to drive. I would go 20 mph rather then try to pass another car. Coming anywhere near a big rig was torture. Heart pounding. Hard to breath. Terrible tightness in the chest. Hands clenched on the steering wheel. Horrible!
But, there I was, driving along and feeling relaxed and glad to be on the road. Going home. Amazing!
This is now my home. The Riverboat House. I share it with Charlie Bear and Ty and a few other fur babies. I have the rescue girls who I love and admire so much. I have old friends and new ones and something important to give my time and energy to. This is where I belong and need to be. This is where I am happy.

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A Loan from God

From Facebook. Thought this was beautiful.
God promised at the birth of time,
A special friend to give,
His time on earth is short, he said,
So love him while he lives.
It may be six or seven years,
Or twelve or then sixteen,
But will you, till I call him back,
Take care of him for me?
A wagging tail and cold wet nose,
And silken velvet ears,
A heart as big as all outdoors,
To love you through the years.
His puppy ways will gladden you,
And antics bring a smile,
As guardian or friend he will,
Be loyal all the while.
He’ll bring his charms to grace your life,
And though his stay be brief,
When he’s gone the memories,
Are solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return,
But lessons only a dog can teach,
I want you each to learn.
Whatever love you give to him,
Returns in triple measure,
Follow his lead and gain a life,
Brim full of simple pleasure.
Enjoy each day as it comes,
Allow your heart to guide,
Be loyal and steadfast in love,
As the dog there by your side.
Now will you give him all your love,
Nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call,
To take him back again?
I fancy each of us would say,
“Dear Lord, thy will be done,
For all the joy this dog shall bring,
The risk of grief we’ll run.
“We’ll shelter him with tenderness,
We’ll love him while we may,
And for the happiness we’ve known,
Forever grateful stay.
“But shall the angels call for him,
Much sooner than we’ve planned,
We’ll brave the bitter grief that comes,
And try to understand.”

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Sorting day

Have moved stuff around so much the last few months, I have no idea what is where or if I still want/need what I have. Think I need to take it room by room and start separating keepers from junk.
So VERY tired of boxes and piles. Oh well. I’ll get there eventually. ;-)

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Did I mention I hate moving?

I still have so much stuff to move out of the apartment. And no enthusiasm for the task. Just want to be up at the Riverboat and put stuff away, hang pictures, wash clothes (yes even that!)
Today I babysit Leo. Will probably need a nap afterwards. hehe
So much for progress.

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Tears everywhere

Lisa has lost her sweet little Taylee and Michelle buries her father today. I wish I had learned to be more sympathetic instead of so darn EMpathetic.
Thinking of you girls and hoping you are getting all the warm hugs you need.

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